Something Witchy: A Sabrina the Teenage Witch Rewatch

3.22: Laura of an Indeterminate Age

This episode is brought to you by the letter "B" for Big Lebowski, Bee Movie, Burritos, Bananas, and Beverages.We're rewatching Season 3 Episode 22, "The Long and Winding Shortcut," and actually get some clues to the family secret solved! Sabrina also gets punished for trying to take a shortcut on solving said clues which leads to the bigger question - isn't all magic use a shortcut? Hilda and Zelda square off in a political fight and we discuss what mascots our imaginary political parties would have. Valerie is suddenly religious, we get an iconic Salem line, and chat game shows. Listen to this episode while you vote!

3.21: This is the Safe Sex Episode

This is the true story...of two friends...who love Sabrina the Teenage Witch...and have their conversations recorded...as they figure out what happens...in Season 3 Episode 21...Sabrina's Real World. (Pls don't sue us, MTV.)Salem sells the rights to Sabrina's life to a skeezy producer and now she's the star of her very own reality show. She tries being boring to get the show cancelled but the producer keeps sending more and more life-threatening and exciting events her way. The aunts are too busy with their own problems to help her. Hilda is trapped in a "Borscht belt" and must make 1 million jokes before it will come off. And her short, bald date is on his way over. Then Zelda gets called up for Grim Reaper duty to deliver bad news to witches (where was the Bad News Reaper before Sabrina kissed Harvey and turned him into a frog?). Everything works out in the end, though. Except for Hilda's love life. And Salem's business plans. And the man that gets athlete's foot.Enjoy tangents about natural disasters as Skye and Laura discuss some of the ones they have lived through, as well as Nostradamus and the V Chip. Make sure to listen until the end as Skye makes headway on solving the family secret!

3.20: Garden Adventures with Skye and Laura

This week we're rewatching Season 3 Episode 20 "Sabrina's Pen Pal." Sabrina finds out her Other Realm pen pal, Martha, is a pal in the penitentiary...and Sabrina helped her escape custody. Not only does Martha continue her thieving ways in Westbrook, she hits on Mr. Kraft and isn't that truly the bigger crime? Sabrina and the aunts team up to try to stop Martha from stealing the most powerful gem in the universe. They are as successful as you would expect them to be. Throughout all of this, Salem has a few extra lives he's trying to burn which leads to a continuation of the cat soul discussion which is the true story arc of this season.Once again we're left with a plethora of questions but we get some fun gardening stories, quotes from The Big Sleep, and we discover that Skye has never played The Sims. Even in real life, the logic fails at every single turn.

3.19: Oops, All Tangents

What use would an Other Realm sheep-witch have with an oven? Who knows! We definitely don't find out in Season 3 Episode 19, "The Big Sleep." But BOY do we learn plenty of other trivia! Sabrina tries to be proactive in solving the family secret and reaches out to a hidden family relative to ask for a clue. But this relative is highly offended at having her decade-long nap interrupted and fills the Spellman house with poppies. It turns out that Other Realm poppies are deadly to Spellmans and they send the aunts into a deep sleep (but somehow THIS isn't the family secret?). Sabrina has to try and clean up the poppies while also hosting an allnighter study session after Valerie poisons the original members of the Brain Busters. Now it's up to Harvey, Valerie, and Libby (honestly so brave of her to go back to that house) to learn everything they can while Sabrina falls asleep at the competition. Where is Gordie for this very nerd-centric activity, you might ask? GOOD QUESTION.Listen in for an episode full of trivia and tangents, including: Mad Max, Sweeny Todd, The Big Sleep, Mark McGwire, Savannah Bananas, *69 & *67, Margaret Chase Smith, threads trends, Studio 54, The Pod People, Frederico Fellini, and Rogers & Hart. 

3.18: Hilda Bra Squirrel Nut Finger

It was a dark and stormy night when Skye and Laura recapped Season 3 Episode 18, "Sabrina, the Teenage Writer." Not really but we did record at night.Sabrina is finally not perfect at something when she gets a C- on her short story. This sends her into a tail spin and she is determined to channel her inner William Faulkner to bring her grade up. We also learn more about William Faulkner than we could ever use at pub trivia. Unfortunately, she does so on Hilda's magical typewriter which makes whatever she types about become real and a spy story takes over the school. We all learn about the importance of character development alongside Sabrina and surely we will have no reason in the future to criticize the writers' inability to keep this concept in mind.The aunts attempt to help Sabrina but are caught up in myriad of curses after they fail to forward on a chain letter. We discuss how we are also cursed after the loss of Windows XP. Overall, this was an extremely challenging episode to write for and discuss in an audio-only format, but we tried our best and we got the phrase "Hilda bra squirrel nut finger" so we'll count it as a win.

Cauldron Talk with Curtis Andersen

It's the inaugural episode of "Cauldron Talk" featuring everyone's favorite nerd, Curtis Andersen aka Gordie! We talk to him about his experience on the Sabrina set as well as other hit teen shows of the 90s and how special it was to be part of that cultural moment. We also talk about the two other things we have in common (a disdain for Ronald Reagan and asbestos exposures?) and he weighs in on the house cat soul debate from 3.17. We get some fascinating behind-the-scenes stories of the Violent Femmes episode, talk about what Curtis is up to now, and Laura FINALLY gets to ask him about "Work and the Glory." You won't want to skip this episode, especially if you've ever wanted to hear Curtis Andersen "meow."
The Nate & Curtis Show Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/TheNateandCurtisShow 
Nate's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenaterichert/
Curtis's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/curtisandersen/
Curtis and René's Patreon for their production company: https://www.patreon.com/cw/andelonprod 
 

3.17: It's Man Dough!

Season 3 Episode 17 is a bittersweet one for us. In "Salem, the Boy" we get some of Curtis Andersen's best work, but we also say goodbye to Gordie. This episode is a wild ride and brings up a lot of tangents, especially about how to explain the sudden house cat "soul" that inhabits Salem's cat body when Salem takes over Gordie's. Is it a cat version of man dough? Is it aliens? Is it a weird immortal cat thing?The aunts get into some ancient Roman hijinks and Laura has to apologize to Skye for making a false promise back in Season 1. Additional questions we're still pondering include: Would Salem be pro-Kennedy? Was Dr. Pepper not loved in the 90s? How old is Salem?

3.16: Demonic...But Cute

Would you rather date a genie, a Martian, or an enchanted tree? This is just one of the questions raised in our rewatch of Season 3 Episode 16 "Sabrina, the Matchmaker." Cousin Marigold comes for a visit, bringing along the "delightful" Amanda and a new addition named "Aly." Sabrina decides to do her Cupid-ordered matchmaking service by getting Marigold together with a mortal plumber that Sabrina seems weirdly familiar with. Things obviously go awry (Amanda's involved) but at least we get some consistency...from Sabrina Goes to Rome, of all places! Hilda and Zelda also get into a tiff when Hilda's new beau has a striking resemblance to Mr. Kraft, but only physically. 
Listen in for discussions about Kesha, Florence and the Machine, zombie chickens, and Walden: The Video Game. Then weigh in on what kind of dog you think Harvey was turned into.

3.15: Grab Your Machete and Call It a Cutlass

Break out the rum and let the pirates out of your basement! It's time to recap Season 3 Episode 15 "Sabrina and the Pirates." We start off strong with a discussion about catnip alcohol and it only gets more nonsensical from there.Sabrina gets fake IDs for her and Valerie so they can sneak into an *NSYNC concert (we don't blame them) but that causes Sabrina's magic to become fake. Hilda and Zelda are trying to rehabilitate pirates that have been trapped in their basement for the past 100 years and Hilda gets stabbed at least twice. And poor Salem has to put the family secret board back together multiple times when it keeps breaking. Eventually Sabrina comes clean about her illegal activity and has her magic restored just in time to save her aunts.Listen to the episode to find out how Skye reacted to the reveal of the family secret board (hint: it doesn't go well) as well as some more SWORD FACTS!

3.14: Don't Force Me to Feel Bad for Mr. Kraft!

[Mariah Carey voice] It's TIIIIIIIIME! Skye finally finds out why they have a sticky note that says "Mr. Kraft. Wife. Has one." And BOY does Mr. Kraft have a whopper of an ex-wife.In Season 3 Episode 14 "Mrs. Kraft," Mr. Kraft moves in with the Spellmans which is the worst thing that has ever happened to Sabrina, or so it seems to her. Somehow Hilda manages to actually be mature about the whole thing...for a while. Eventually both she and Sabrina snap and zap in Mr. Kraft's ex in an attempt to break up him and Zelda. This plan backfires (of course) when it's revealed that the former Mrs. Kraft is actually a witch! Shenanigans ensue that actually cause us to feel...empathy...for Mr. Kraft???Besides those horrors, Salem is training a dog to get meat from its butcher owner and we get a few new camera angles, as a treat. At the end, we're still wondering: would we get back with one of our terrible exes to escape the Infinite Horror?
(PS: Should we buy frozenslushy.com?)